I thought I was off the hook.
When I told my kids the new Furby finished staying at our house, they seemed to understand. “We will miss you very much, Furby!!” exclaimed my six-year-old – but there were no screams, no tantrums. They asked if Furby could play one more song. They gave it a goodbye hug. After that, I liked to put the talking puffball deep in the garage.
But a day later, my three-year-old made an unusual casual comment: “I wish we had enough money to buy a Furby…” she said, her full puppy eyes burning into my soul.
Here’s the good news: I can confirm that the 2023 Furby is currently no longer planning to take over the world.
But that’s only because Furby wants the moon first.
In all seriousness, the 2023 Furby isn’t quite as creepy or obnoxious as its predecessors. It’s more of a puppet than a robot now and I’ve seen zero signs of it learning. Honestly, it’s about as low-tech as a Furby has ever been – there’s no Wi-Fi connectivity, no internet-of-things functionality, no companion app, and no creepy-eye LCD screens. This Furby explicitly says it can not telling time, another thing the plush robot of old could enjoy doing.
Instead of, your $70 purchases a fuzzy, English-speaking chatter box that responds to nearby noises, belly rubs, and head pats while automatically spitting out a series of 600 phrases such as “Is hot dog sandwich? Mmm?” or “Furby feels like 14 out of 10 right now” or “It’s tap dance hour!”
And although Hasbro do claiming that the new Furby responds to speech, it doesn’t always listen for a wake word like Alexa or Google. Furby will say random things when it detects sound, but getting more is off the top of your head: you need to 1) press the heart button, 2) say “Hey Furby” 3) say one of only five ultra-specific commands it seems to recognize, and 4) tap it on the head or abdomen until you get the desired result.
This wasn’t always a plus for my six-year-old: “Sometimes the heart button doesn’t work – it doesn’t listen!” she would complain. But soon she was teaching me how to use the toy. “You have to say it IN the heart, Daddy!”
Here’s her review of the 2023 Furby:
I love everything about Furby.
It can change color by shaking it!
See, his feet are always ready to dance because they move up and down. And look, he sleeps when you put him on his back! He goes to sleep very quickly.
He likes scratching behind the ears.
He sometimes half closes his eyes and he doesn’t like squirrels. When he sleeps, he sometimes says, “Not the squirrels, not the squirrels.”
He tells you dreams after he sleeps.
Oh and his ears glow too.
“Furby is like a real pet, except he’s not really alive,” she concludes.
I might point out that’s not the case either shit — but there’s no escaping the unsolicited fart noises that make my three-year-old giggle.
There’s a bit of interactivity outside of Furby’s randomly spoken phrases if you know where to look. In addition to the voice changer, breathing exercises and nonsensical fortunes, Furby gets “hungry” and you can “feed” him by squeezing something into his mouth. (My youngest tried giving Furby her fingertip and was glad it worked.)
If you make a really loud noise, he’ll pretend to be scared for a second. It can also tell the difference between a pat on the head and combing its hair – but strangely no sensors to detect falls or when you comply with its request for a scratch behind the ears.
There’s also a surprising number of phrases when you tickle his belly. It took several minutes of non-stop tummy rubbing before I saw a clear recurrence, and even I chuckled to “Can’t run for jitters… no legs, not fair!”
But what kept my kids coming back was the music – which made Furby play his “Pizza Rap” and “President of the Moon” and other “Dance Party” songs. A favorite was a Freeze Dance game where you have to stop dancing when Furby pauses the music and says “freeze” – it’s also something my kids play at school.
During a week at the Furby, their interest waxed and waned. The youngest originally passed up one of her favorite family games (Jenga) to spend more time with the toys, but they didn’t pout one day when my wife disappeared the Furby to a high shelf.
“Children happy. Adults terrified.” – my wife
Speaking of my wife, she couldn’t wait to get it out of the house – it mostly reminds her of the 1984 movie Gremlins. “Children happy. Adults are terrified,” she says.
Fellow parents, I’m happy to say that the new Furby is quite easy to turn off with three quick taps on the power button or by briefly laying it on its back or even leaving it idle for a minute and a half . There’s no dedicated on/off switch and two Phillips screws are required to remove the batteries, but the family didn’t have too much trouble getting the device to stop.
Admittedly, I haven’t tested what happens when the four AA batteries run low… perhaps Furby’s evil side will finally emerge.
Janice has been with businesskinda for 5 years, writing copy for client websites, blog posts, EDMs and other mediums to engage readers and encourage action. By collaborating with clients, our SEO manager and the wider businesskinda team, Janice seeks to understand an audience before creating memorable, persuasive copy.