Someone please buy me this Razer Atlas glass mouse pad

Mousepads are one thing. Mousepads made of glass? Quite another. At least that’s what I assume based on the promotional materials for the Razer Atlas, Razer’s first glass mouse pad. “Absolute functionality and durability,” Razer’s website proclaims. “Experience pure polished precision,” the press release demands of me.

The Tempered glass Atlas for $99.99 has a non-slip rubber base, comes in black or white, and is 0.19 inches (five millimeters) thick. But the main idea behind a glass mouse pad, I understand, is that you can slide a mouse over it very, very quickly.

It’s not like I have a problem with the speeds provided by the piece of foam currently on my desk. But I just keep looking at this thing, and I feel like gliding over it with a mouse paradise. It is perhaps the closest thing to a mouse sliding through the air. Maybe it’s like using a mouse on ice, but the ice isn’t cold? I’m not sure, but I need to know as soon as possible.

Click quickly. As befits a real gamer.
Image: Razer

The main problem I can think of is sweat. Sorry folks, but I’m going to bring it up. This looks like things can get really gross really quickly if you perspire while blowing people in Overexpected. (Is that something? I don’t really play Overexpected.) Even if you’re wearing long sleeves, I assume the occasional bumping of a damp little finger against the surface of this thing could leave an inappropriate constellation of stains.

Well, my preliminary research has revealed that there are gaming specific sleevesthat cover you arm and fingers, which you can buy to combat this problem. I’m not confident I could game in one of these for an extended period of time without feeling like a member of the Blue Man Group or something, but to each their own.

Oh, unless someone wants to buy me this pair of sleeves with what I think is a furious panda on them. i will play Civil VI in this all day. With the glass mouse pad.